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Massive Fiscal Stimulus Spending Project Proposal #2: Changing Lanes

Back in May, I laid out a plan by which the Japanese government could waste tremendous amounts of public money by simply issuing brand new bank notes of radically different sizes and shapes, while outlawing the use of current bank notes.

While the previous plan could potentially pump billions of yen into the economy, the next plan should cost much more. To do this, Japan simply has to switch driving from the left to the right side of the road. Of course, other countries have pulled this off without spending huge sums of money, such as Sweden, but Japan can avoid falling into this trap by ensuring that the process be as expensive and wasteful as possible. Here’s how it works:

The government will declare that on January first of the following year, all traffic must drive on the right side of the road. Drivers will have a one year grace period to buy new cars with the steering wheel on the left side. All automotive factories will have to be revamped to build the updated vehicles. All roads will have to be repainted.

Since repainting all roads is somewhat troublesome, all roads in the country must be torn up and repaved, in order to ensure safety. All existing bridges must be knocked down and rebuilt, in order to reduce confusion. To maintain consistency, all dams in the country must also be demolished and rebuilt.

Bus stops have to be built on the opposite side of the road, and all drivers should purchase new maps, GPS systems, shoes, driving caps, goggles and gloves.

As bicycles will now be riding on the opposite side of the road, all bicycles should be replaced in order to ensure the safety of all riders. New motorcycles will also have to be bought. Both motorcycle and bicycle riders will be required to purchase new helmets with an enhanced left side view.

At the same, every building in the country will be required to replace its doors, as foot traffic might be coming from the opposite direction. All stairwells in buildings should be replaced to reduce confusion, and new elevators and escalators must be purchased.

All train and subway tracks in the country will be torn up, and all train and subway stations demolished and rebuilt in order to reflect the fact that trains will now run the opposite way.

Every airport and seaport in the country will also have to be torn down and replaced, because it wouldn’t be fair to leave them out. All existing airplanes, boats, ships, tankers, trains and subway cars must be scrapped and rebuilt.

The process should be done within five years, after which time the government will see the error in its ways and decide to switch back to left side driving. This will ensure that the process be repeated and result in double the waste of public funds.

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